


Much Ado about Nothing

by Shimruto



Series: Surviving Homin bday month 2019 [2]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Canon, Crack, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, changyun_run challenge, dark au, myth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-10-15 11:33:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17527949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shimruto/pseuds/Shimruto
Summary: a collection of drabbles





	1. A drabble about a habit

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [A dark and a bit creepy au (translation)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18803257) by [Shimruto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shimruto/pseuds/Shimruto)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please enjoy)

Yunho runs on a few crumbles of sleep.

Partly because of their schedule, partly because they are back in Korea and there is no Changmin to sweetly lull-nag him to sleep, partly because he chose to do a lot of other things yesterday rather than to postpone them for another tomorrow. And still there is so little time and so many things to do – so he might stick to the same decision to stay up late today too.

They finished the shooting for the magazine and the manager leads the way to the nearest restaurant to shove some food in them before going to the agency to discuss the schedule for the second half of the year.

Yunho bows to the staff and feels relieved seeing that they have the private room ready for them.

‘At least 30 minutes of allowed black-out from the social duties for all his senses’

They sit at the table and he sees the painting across the wall with the water. He likes it. The water is always soothing no matter in which form it is near you. It brings the sense of tranquility and…

He remembers that he needs to choose something from the menu but it is nowhere in sight. Yunho jerks back after the door clicks loudly behind the leaving waiter.

He turns to the right and sees Changmin. The posture relaxed but a bit hunched from the nonstop work hours. He is carefully hanging the coat in the in-built closet. Gently straightening the wrinkles on the collar and brushing off the invisible dust from the sides. The fingers delicately, almost intimately, running along the material of the coat.

The coat that looks very similar to Yunho’s.

He looks down and sees that he really blacked out for several moments before that led to two definite things – Changmin undressing him and ordering the food for both of them.

Yunho chuckles lightly and feels the warmth spreading along his tired limbs – bringing life back, charging him slowly.

Changmin takes a sit in front of him and quietly fills the glasses with water – forever soothing water – for both of them. Yunho gulps it in one go and closes his eyes to turn off the colors around.

 

He smells rather than hears that the food arrived and still in a haze of his half-open eyes starts eating.

After 10 minutes he is about to reconsider his decision to sacrifice several hours of sleep today as it seems his brains believes in magic after seeing how his plate is miraculously filled up with everything he wants to eat just before he even thinks about it. Even the order is right. Even the rotation of his two obligatory drinks – a sweet one and a sour one – is never broken.  

This is surely magic.

This might be a discovery of another dimension.

This might be his hidden amazing ability of telekinesis.

‘This might be…’

“Hyung, don’t just stare at the food – eat it”

‘… Changmin’

Yunho looks up to meet the sight of the younger devouring his steak with the appetite that can surely inspire the books about the cooking. Changmin is so engrossed in the meat taste and the book that lies near him that Yunho wonders how the maknae even noticed him at all.

Sometimes he ponders on this one single thought and lets it go.

But sometimes all the memories and the feelings and the torn away ‘accidents’ are rushing to him multiplying in the collage of their shared life together.

And here it comes.

With full force. As if the time stops. As if someone pressed a pause button in their lives at this very moment eager to imprint it forever in his heart.

_Changmin still silently following him around even when Yunho was pushing them to the exhaustion level. Changmin shyly patting Yunho’s arm for the first time when he allowed his self-concerns to show. Changmin whispering soothing things when Yunho was agonizing after the injury at nights. Changmin always listening to his never-ending dreams. Changmin wordlessly providing him the refugee he needed one night when Yunho just dropped the guard down to flee from the consuming worries. Changmin silently taking care of him with the cute notes and every-hour checkups. Changmin being openly mad at him for Yunho’s carelessness. Changmin finding his voice to pull Yunho back to the earth when he starts to suffocate in the stratosphere. Changmin pushing Yunho up when he starts to drown. Changmin knowing Yunho is hurting even when he doesn’t feel it himself. Changmin standing on the other part of the stage and still being able to answer his questions through the eyes. Changmin always knowing where everything lies and what Yunho needs._

Yunho chuckles feeling his heart beating a bit quicker every time they are together. Never slowing down even after 16 years.

He feels his eyes moistening a bit and smiles even wider when he sees Changmin’s eyes getting even bigger at this sight.

“Hyung, are you ok? Do you need to take a longer break? I can order something more and pretend I still haven’t finished eating when the manager returns”

“Like he will believe you”

“He doesn’t have a choice” mutters Changmin trying to reach the button to call for the waiter. The book and food forgotten.

“No need, Changminah. I just…”

“Just???”

“I am just thankful for this habit of yours”

Changmin’s face is all angles and rounds in an attempt to translate the meaning.

“My habit?”

“Yes” smiles Yunho. “The precious habit of taking care of me all the time. Thank you”

He reaches to grasp Changmin’s hand but fails to do so.

The glare Changmin sends to him is chilling his bones a little.

Ok! Not a little.

A lot.

“Hyung…”

The tone of the younger’s voice is only bringing Yunho to more fidgeting and increased breaths to supply his brain with the much-needed air to understand what he phrased wrong.

“Changdollah…”

“A. Habit…. Seriously?”

“Ummm I mean in a good sense, Minah…”

“I mean… SERIOULSY? Since when do people call love a habit?”

A fish.

Yunho is definitely a fish right now. A fish thrown onto the ground. A fish that tries to express the world’s biggest love to his mate but just… fish-fails.

“Changdollah!”

A tomato.

Changmin is definitely a very ripe red tomato right now. A tomato that can be very angry and killing at the same time but fails cutely just as… a tomato falls.

“Stop! If you ever mention this ever again - I will not talk to you for a week and we know what happened when this was only for two days…”

“But we were both suffering and…”

“I MEAN! Don’t you dare to compare my feelings to a habit ever again or next time you walk into the wall and fall I will not catch your clumsy ass”

“I will not, Changminah.  I love you too” says Yunho wrapping his words with passionate sincerity.

A second passes and Changmin visibly relaxes returning to his book.

“And honestly, Changdollah, no matter how much you threaten me in situations like this you will always catch my clumsy ass”

A second doesn't even pass and the book flies to the source of the voice.


	2. A prompt about Hyung^&^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyuhyun and Changmin on vacation at Jeju. 
> 
> it started like this and it is nonsense so i beg your pardon.

"Hyyyung"

"Ya, Chwang! Stop doing this all the time!"

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?"

"You didn't want to let go of me yesterday"

"Stop saying nonsense. I would have kicked out real hard and real far"

"True. But yesterday we were roleplaying"

"... the fuck you are talking about??"

"Apparently I was... _Hyung_ "

"Oh god no..."

"And you were a freak in love"

"Argh... shit. How much did I say?"

"Not more than usual. The same sappy shit about undying love and utmost affection..."

"Why didn't you just slap me to sleep?"

"I would but you started to... express your love at some point..."

"WHAT?"

"... and that's why I am not apologizing for that kick into your _everything_ "

"Argh... get out of my room!"

"How dare you! After everything that happened between us yesterday!"

"Kyu!"

"Hahaha... but honestly, dude. Your super abilities to find the staff to satisfy your kinky dreams in a simple hotel room are truly amazing! How did you even remember where everything was after drinking so much?"

"Ummm..."

"... Chwang?"

"Ummm..."

"Oh. my. god. don't tell me this is NOT just a SIMPLE hotel room?"

"Ummm..."

"Shit! When.. How? Where do I stand and not touch what you... touched before?"

"Ummm..."

"SHIM!!! This is disgusting! Even the innocent luggage rack?"

"And the wall behind it. And the floor there. I would... really advise you to remove yourself from my room"

"I hate you!"

"I love you too. Now let's go to breakfast"

"I should have known better than coming to Jeju with you again. This whole island needs a disinfection after your trips here. I will sue you some day. For the emotional distress. Every time we go on vacation you just happen to choose these places of your... _battles..._ "

"More like peace parley fields..."

"You don't destroy things while peace-making..."

"..."

"Don't say it"

"... _making_..."

"I said shut up!"

"Hahaha"

"Chwang, we go on vacation - to. rest. - not to reminisce about your sexual adventures"

" _Numerous_ sexual adventures unlike someone"

"Shut up! Not everyone is in the group with the same level sex enthusiast"

"I prefer the term _soulmate_ "

"Don't try to sugarcoat your escapades"

"Just find one for yourself and stop whining"

"I have every right to do this! Do you know how hard it is for me to return to the dorm after our trips and listen to my members' fighting?"

"Fighting about what?"

"Ummm..."

"... Kyu?"

"Ummm..."

"I am calling Donghae-hyung"

" _HYUNG_!"

"What?"

"They are fighting... which hyung I mean when I..."

"Hahaha what? Scream in your sleep?"

"..."

"Are you serious?"

"Fuck you, Chwang! I am scarred every time after our little vacations - especially if we stay in the same room!"

"Oh my god! This is hilarious! Hahhahha"

"I hate you"

"Hahhah.... you... hahahha... scream... hahaha wait! It is... not MY hyung!?"

"..."

"CHO KYUHYUN!!!!"

"Relax. It's not him. You should have seen your face"

"Damn you!"

"What? Afraid much?"

"I am gonna kick your ass now!"

"And who is going to wipe your love drool at nights? Minseokah? Of course not - we don't damage the kids in this house. That's why you are stuck with me. Let's go to breakfast"

"Kyu?"

"Um?"

"But really... who?"

"... on a second thought - starve to death here!"


	3. "Huh?" (another drabble about a habit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because i had two ideas and decided to use the second one too - it's too hilarious not to mention how they fail to high five all the time  
> enjoy!!!
> 
> and happy homin day, everyone!^^

“They need a beating”

Yunho is accustomed to these threats from Changmin but still stops for a moment to check the surroundings.

“Who?”

“Our fans”

“Whoa Changdollah! How can you say such things about our precious…”

“Hyung! They declare we can’t high-five”

“Huh? What kind of nonsense?”

“Exactly!” Changmin is scrolling through his phone with the passion that rivals Yunho’s. “I started to notice these posts after our almost every performance and they are becoming really loud and annoying about this lately. They say our coordination sucks”

“What!? We are the veterans of the stage with 15 years of experience, our dancing abilities are unreachable and our performances are always top level! This is a false accusation!”

“That’s why I say they need a beating. No selcas for a month will be a good start”

The younger puts the phone away to reach the last bits of the lunch they has had just now.

“But Changmin… you don’t post them at all actually”

“Shut up! This concerns you too”

Changmin is so annoyed that he dares to point the sticks at the older while saying this.

“Ummm but I wanted to post those pics from…”

“Hyung! We have to punish them”

“You and your SM kinks” mutters Yunho.

“What?”

“Nothing! Let’s go to the agency”

 

*

 

“Can I sue the internet?”

Yunho doesn’t even bother to turn his head lying on the floor and breathing hard after 4 hour of the non-stop practice.

“You can’t”

“Can I kill it?”

Yunho is just done.

“You can”

“Really? How?”

“Just stare at it a bit longer with those eyes of yours and it will annihilate itself”

“Those eyes of mine?”

“Yes. Those big beautiful sparkling…” Yunho finally turns to look at Changmin and catches himself on time “… sending-the-daggers-that-may-kill-anything eyes”

“Hyung!”

“Changmin, I am tired. Let’s just go home”

“This is ridiculous”

“Why? You like going home”

“They made videos, Hyung!”

“Videos?”

Yunho manages to wiggle on his back to Changmin and put his head on the younger’s leg to have a better view on what is written on the screen.  Thankfully the younger is too engrossed in the content that he doesn’t notice his stunt and Yunho uses this opportunity to shift in a more comfortable position and read.

“ _A compilation of Homin failed high-fives_ ”

“They are crazy!”

“Let’s watch it”

“Hyung!”

“What? I need to see what kind of moment they filmed to throw such accusations”

Changmin is reluctant but in the end presses _play_.

As the video progresses there are some drastic changes in the room.

The temperature seems to get higher. The oxygen seems to suddenly disappear. Changmin almost jumps when he finally notices how Yunho uses his leg as a pillow. How he is fitting so nice and right and _huh_?

“Well… that is definitely not ONE moment” says Yunho, voice dumbly warm. “Wow it’s 6 minutes long, Changminah!”

Changmin kind of forgets how to function.

How to answer.

How to close the video.

How to breathe.

So he saves himself with the only useful action that always worked in the past.

“It’s all your fault, hyung!”

“What?”

Yunho looks back at Changmin with eyes full of surprise.

And it is ok.

 _Would_ have been ok.

But he is still on Changmin’s lap and his lips are parted a little and his hair is sticking all around and his cheeks are flushed after the practice and Changmin is tired and he kind of wants to just lie down.

Preferably face down.

Preferably  face down right on Yunho on his lap…

**_Huh_ ** _?_

Changmin looks back at the screen and sees how for the nth time Yunho’s hand doesn’t let go immediately, how their fingers brush and in 89% cases intertwine to hold on a bit longer, how every time their skin seems to have a magnet effect and now even the _pixel Changmin_ can’t just release the older’s hand – wishing to touch, to press, to graze, to grope, to… **_HUH??_**

Changmin jumps up and Yunho starts whining a little after banging his head on the floor.

But it’s ok – he deserved it.

No one can make Changmin feel these… _things_ without him approving it first **.**

“We have to go home” exclaims Changmin shoving the clothes into his bag completely muting Yunho in the background demanding his shirts back.

_And I will just forget about today and this video and about… everything._

And when Changmin sets a goal – he reaches it.

 

*

 

“We need to practice, hyung” hisses Changmin burning everything around with his stare.

“We can’t”

“Why? You like to practice! You _love_ it! So let’s do it!”

“Changminnie, we are at the airport. We can’t dance or sing here”

“I am not talking about this. I mean high-five”

Yunho takes his sunglasses off and steps closer to the younger.

Changmin is sure his Adam’s apple just performed _Humanoids_ for the whole crowd to see and laugh.

The older steps even closer and Changmin is not sure he has the emergency drills ready for this SOS situation.

“Did you drink?” sniffs Yunho.

Changmin jolts.

He freaking _sniffed_ him! But Changmin somehow wants him to do that again! What the hell?!

“What? No! How could you even think about it! We are at the airport!”

“You just suggested practicing high-five here”

“And?”

“And we don’t talk nor touch at the airports. Did you forget the rules?”

Yeah… Changmin kind of forgot every shit he, the company and the security service made up for them after all these years. He collects himself. At least tries to.

“We need to practice it perfect and then they will leave us alone”

“Changmin, we are celebrities. No one will ever leave us alone”

“They should stop and leave us… _alone”_

Changmin sees Yunho halting because he is… _stupid_ and of course he heard something _other_ than the first meaning of the last word. Like a double meaning. Like a complete nonsense meaning and Changmin is not using any double meanings! No meanings at all.

Yunho continues to stare and Changmin has to do something. Or he is going to detonate and fill the whole floor with the Cassiopeia colour. And stain Yunho because he is standing the closest to him. And Changmin can almost feel his heat and _Yunho painted in colours_ … is the last thing Changmin has to imagine in the crowdy places.

So Changmin changes his focus.

By grabbing Yunho’s hand.

He hears the usual _clicks_ of the cameras in the background becoming an insane buzz with the occasional drops of things from some people. Their managers included.

 

When they land in Japan they see the articles and don’t talk for a day trying to hide in their respective bathrooms.

 

*

 

The days of shooting the MV pass by in a blur and Yunho finds himself getting comfortable in the seat in the plane back to Seoul. Finally he can catch some minutes of sleep and –

“Hyung, raise your hand!”

Yunho does.

And thinks how he should stop automatically following Changmin’s words like a good puppy. He is not a puppy! He is a tiger! The way he yawns so wide right now may actually prove it and trigger the lawsuit from Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer company.

Yunho wants to put his hand down but freezes when Changmin grasps it. They stay like this for a minute.

“Ummm… Changmin? What are you doing?”

Changmin is too busy shooting lasers with his eyes at their messy fingers knot.

“Is this an angle?”

“What?”

“There has to be a reason we can’t just high five and let go… maybe it’s the angle”

“Changmin…”

“Here! Hold your hand like this!”

Changmin twists Yunho’s hand a little and prepares to strike it like a runner at the Olympics.

Full concentration.

Clear mind.

Target on point.

He aims and shoots.

He is about to HURRAH himself when he feels Yunho’s fingers to swiftly catch his hand and the older’s thumb graze his palm and Changmin just feels … _hot._ The heart is about to climb up his throat like a thief through the chimney and jump on Yunho’s safe boat.

Somewhere deep a _very very very_ weak voice is telling Changmin to break the connection but his heart and his mind actually kick it dead and scream at him to pull the hand to himself and see Yunho lose the balance and fall.. maybe on him… maybe on his face… maybe –

“Excuse me, would you like a glass of wine?”

Both of them jerk back and sit straight on their chairs like during the first days of school.

The stewardess is looking at them quizzically and Yunho saves the situation by asking for the whole bottle.

 

At the airport the managers are already preparing the statements about their _light flu_.

 

In an hour the hashtag _#shinkiflu_ goes wild and the couples try to fall ill simultaneously creating chaos at the hospitals.

 

*

 

They have a photosession and everything goes smooth until the break.

As soon as it is finished Yunho hears the photographer’s directions somehow always leading to… _and now try to high-five._

“It’s your doing”

Changmin keeps the face straight on the camera.

“I don’t know what you are talking about!”

“Changmin, this is ridiculous! Just stop already!”

“We have a concert soon. I want everything to be perfect so shut up and here-“

He raises his hand and stares expectedly at the older.

Yunho just… sighs.

“And someone tells the whole nation he is not competitive at all”

“Don’t make me force you!”

“ _Hyung! Please don’t make me force you, HYUNG!_ Give some trouble to keep up at least the basics of respect”

Yunho raises his hand to quickly finish these never-ending demands from Shim Chang- _bull_ but feels his hand being clasped between the younger’s hands in a second. Right near Changmin’s heart.

“Hyung. I respect you. The most in the whole world”

Yunho makes a mistake to fall into Changmin’s eyes and for the nth time he doesn’t want to swim back to the reality. He thinks he may just say _it_ now but Changmin is crazy and doesn’t know what he is doing. What he is doing to him. For all these years.

So he gently adds the only free hand among them to the celebration of touch.

“I know. Thank you”

“PERFECT! AMAZING! HOW MESMERIZING! YOUR BOND IS JUST GOING TO BE RISING FROM THE PAGES AND STOP THE HEARTS OF THE READERS!”

They hurriedly let go and shyly face back to back to continue the shooting.

 

They change several locations, try millions of clothes but it is THAT shot that makes the cover and kind of really kills the internet for some time due to the overload of all SNS platforms.

 

*

 

Changmin is a very hardworking and responsible person.

But this is the fifth hour of their meeting with SM staff discussing the future projects and he hasn’t caught a healthy hour of sleep for several weeks already.

And he is desperate as never.

He tried everything.

He tried every possible free minute of their time to make this simple _seconds_ touch of their hands be natural and quick but every time they… failed.

Maybe the fans are right and they are just losers.

Maybe Yunho is right too by stopping to be a caring hyung and just shoving Changmin away when the younger raises his hand during… anything.

But Changmin knows.

_There is something._

Very close.

Very important for him to understand.

Some riddle he has to solve.

So he has to keep going. And then in the end maybe he will understand what this strange inner driving force and tickling in his skin means…

Changmin notices that the conference hall is suddenly quiet.

He looks around to see the eyes of the staff around ready to pop out and with the _cartoon_ sound to roll along the floor.

Changmin wants to ask them why they are all staring at him like crazy when he hears the voice he has known for the past 16 years crack in the places never meant before.

“Changminnie…”

Changmin turns to the left and thinks that he might have been abducted and experimented by the aliens at night.

It would explain the tiredness and hazed memories.

It would probably explain why he is holding Yunho’s hand right now when the older definitely stretched it to show something on the screen.

Changmin tries to produce some sound but fails and thinks that after a therapist he will need to see an otolaryngologist too.

He is still in process of collecting his brain from the polished table when Yunho saves everyone by calling it a day.

Changmin exhales with the relief of the year.

Great to have a hyung who can order the agency staff around when it is needed.

Great to have a hyung who can send you off by gently touching your forehead because you might have a temperature.

Great to have a hyung who can understand what you need without even speaking.

Great to have a hyung who looks at you so softly.

Great to have a hyung whose hands are so warm and soothing.

Great to have a _hyung._

Huh?

*

 

Changmin is going crazy.

This is the only explanation of why he is standing by Yunho’s door at 4.34 a.m.

He can’t explain what and when he managed to come here but he knows he should at least press that doorbell to pass for a pathetic copy of the decent human being.

He has to tell Yunho that something is bugging him and he needs the leader explain it to him and help him to sleep and most of all he…

Yunho opens the door with his hair sticking around as if he was practicing dance moves even in the sleep. He rubs his eyes and his puffed lips try to find the letters to create the words.

Changmin just stares.

Stares at the half-naked Yunho with the most adorable expression possible.

“Changdollah? What are you doing here?”

Changmin has to tell him a lot of things. Maybe describe his emotions right now that decided to kill him by flooding in the tsunami style. He should just state clean and clear that they need -

“Let’s high-five, hyung!”

 

If Changmin didn’t break his nose on the flying shut door – it just means that Yunho missed.

 

*

 

The days pass and Changmin becomes unbearably restless.

“Hyung, the concert is coming”

“And?”

“And we still didn’t manage to perfect our high-fives”

“Changmin, I swear! I can’t hear already this world without the urge to break something. We don’t have time for this! Besides our staff already hates us and the fans are going crazy for real from all our public appearances that you turned into a chaos because the angles of our _practice_ pics are really…”

“We have to find a place where we can do that without disturbance then”

“Changmin!”

“Hyung!”

“Shim Changmin!”

“Jung Yunho!”

“Damn, Minah! Let it go already! We are so busy that the only free time we have is when we go home and I want to use it for…”

“That’s it!”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You are a genius, hyung!”

Yunho is happy to hear it but the wild sparkle in Changmin’s eyes makes him pause and gather all his patience foreseeing the twist that will surely end him.

“I don’t understand…”

“Your home!”

“… my home?”

“I am moving back with you! In such a way we will use every minute in a productive way!”

Yunho’s brain just glitches.

“HUH????? Changmin! Stop! What the hell! What do you mean _back_? You have never lived there…”

“I will pick up the things and will be there by 7”

“Changmin! I didn’t even agree to anything yet…”

“Don’t worry! I know the password!”

“Changmin! Wait! CHANGMIN!”

 

*

 

Yunho thought that after all those years it would be awkward to have Changmin back sharing a place with him.

Of course they have Japan but it always feels… different there. With the prospect that they will still return to Korea to their respective separate flats and this illusion of fragile line dividing them has been saving the bits of his mind from going crazy.

But this…

This feeling of having Changmin around him even here makes Yunho fidget with joy and breaks all the chains and locks he put on his heart that was chanting how right it felt at all wrong moments in the past.

He knows he will not change.

This has always been right to him.

And will always be no matter what anyone tells him.

That is…

… till he controls himself from shoving Changmin from the balcony because the younger drives him insane by scaring him with the screams _Let’s high-five, hyung_  all the time, even while the older is using the bathroom.

 

*

 

They have two days left before the concert and the tension is thick as Yunho’s thighs.

 _Well… at least as thick as they used to be_ thinks Changmin making a mental note of ending that diet for Yunho in the future.

He hums in irritation recalling Yunho’s improved reflexes to avoid his training sessions (that is the right word for high-fives now) and checks his message box.

He annoyed Yunho’s manager to death by demanding to know the exact location of the older with the intention to ambush him right at the entrance before the leader has any chance to lock himself in his room again.

The evening seems to be endless as Yunho _of course_ decided to visit some friends before going home.

_As if there is nothing to do at home. As if there is no one at home to spend this evening with._

The screen lights up and Changmin jumps to run to the door.

‘I dropped him by the gates. Behave yourself, Changmin! He drank a bit too much today’

_Drank. With other people._

‘Behave yourself…’

Nahhh…. This only fires up Changmin more.

He hears the door opening and closing with a quiet click.

Changmin corners Yunho right away.

‘Behave yourself…’

Yeah… right. But how?

The older’s cheeks are flushed and the lips are too red, looking a bit shinier and damper than usual.

And if Changmin presses Yunho to the wall it is only because the older can’t stand straight.

“Why did you drink so much?”

Yunho seems to be interested in something on the floor.

Something else that is not Changmin apparently.

“Why do you care?”

“What?”

The older makes an attempt to free his shoulders of Changmin’s intensifying grasp but his coordination left for a vacation tonight.

“Let me go. I want to sleep”

“Hyung!”

“Don’t Hyung me! I am a grown up person!”

“And…”

“And I live with you”

All attempts to decipher _Yunho-language_ go in vain and Changmin feels hopeless because he lost this ability somehow. To know what goes through the older’s head. And this was his main joker against the other annoying people around.

This loss does not sit right with him.

“What do you mean, hyung?”

It seems to set off Yunho to the waterfall of frustration wrapped in the words.

“No really! You think you can do whatever you want and just waltz right back to my place using a pathetic excuse that will lead me to thinking these… thinkings?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I am tired of your shit, Shim Changmin!”

“This…”

“Let’s high-five!”

“Huh?”

“Let’s high-five! For real! Like men!”

Yunho stretches his hand and rivets eyes on Changmin.

Changmin shivers and starts backing away.

“Hyung, you need to sleep it off”

“Why running? Afraid much?”

“Afraid? Why should I feel afraid?”

“Because you know that the real reason we can’t do it is _you_!”

“Me? It’s not my fault!”

Yunho grabs Changmin’s shirt and starts rumpling it as his voice takes a level higher.

“It’s yours and only YOURS! We would have done it already if not for YOU!”

“Hyung, what are you…”

“I dare you, Shim Changmin! Just stop the nonsense you started here”

“Where?”

Changmin stumble forward a bit from the force of Yunho’s sudden pull on him.

“Here!”

Yunho’s heartbeat is racing 220km/h.

Changmin knows it because his palm is firmly pressed right there, on Yunho’s chest, blocked by Yunho’s hands.

The older stares down at him and something in his gaze shifts. Shifts oh so wrong!

“I know why you never bet on anything with me, Changminnie”

The voice sends shivers through Changmin’s body in ripples but he is proud enough of his mouth that somehow speaks, though he doesn’t know exactly how this happens.

“Why?”

Yunho bends down and whispers with the challenge that makes Changmin see red.

“Because you know you will always lose to me”

Changmin is raging. He is never going to lose in anything.

As if reading his mind Yunho presses his lips to the younger’s ear.

“Just as you are losing now”

Changmin is livid.

No one dares to accuse him of losing.

Especially Yunho.

So he makes what he has done so many times in the past.

He proves Yunho wrong.

By clashing their teeth in the raw kiss and by making the older moan his name for the whole night.

And a bit of the morning.

 

*

 

The day of the concert comes and it is flowing amazingly well.

They hit those notes and turn around to walk to each other.

Eyes full of concentration.

Hands itching.

Bodies aching pleasantly from the memories.

They approach each other and Changmin feels Yunho not only lingering with their _high-five_ but also pulling the younger towards him.

Changmin stumbles from the unexpected force and lands awkwardly in Yunho’s “supportive” embrace.

_This hyung really…_

Changmin giggles and makes a mental note to repractice this move tonight.

Yunho catches his eyes and smiles.

 

The managers just flip their chairs and open those little bottles of soju.

SM is going to have loads of creative and believable explanations to make tomorrow. 


	4. A pseudo myth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a blur vision before my sleep and a shaky writing for one hour.

Long long ago when the sky was crystal blue, the water was warm with touches, the animals were sacredly cared for and the people harvested to burn the best offerings they had for the Gods – the two boys were born.

Yun and Min grew up into the gorgeous men, with honor and kindness, with strength to protect and compassion to forgive.

Their hearts always called for the other and with time their friendship and trust merged into love.

The love that had never been seen before.

Their bond was so unique and strong that people around – who usually tended to mar and envy and destroy everything beautiful that was not theirs – changed into caring and protective companions. They cherished this couple dearly as their only sight together was bringing the feeling of hope and relief to the common people.

Yun and Min were loved so much that with years the people started to celebrate _their_ anniversaries instead of bringing the sacrifices to the Gods, going to _their_ house for an advice and consolation instead of the temples, asking _them_ to wish them luck and bless their families.

The Gods became jealous.

They sent numerous disasters to remind the people who were their rightful rulers but it was all in vain.

Every time the people survived and moved on, silently mourning the fallen ones and finding joy in the simple things that stayed – following the example of Yun and Min’s courageous behavior.

The Gods were raging and decided to punish the couple by separating them forever.

They turned Yun into the Sun and Min into the Shadow – one was destined to cause the other to exist but they could never meet and see each other.

The Sun’s view was always blocked by the landscape and the buildings – sending the light everywhere but never reaching the hidden places where his beloved was.

The Shadow was always staying behind the obstacles – the view forever obscured by the angles and lines and shapes to prevent him from taking a glimpse at his other half.

Years went by and by turning into centuries and the saddening longing Yun and Min felt for each other reached the unbearable amount.

Yun, being always the most passionate between them, lost his patience and started to let his frustration out by burning stronger, harder and brighter.

He lost control and it led to the seasons of the insane heat on the earth. The water supplies were slowly disappearing, the harvests were poorer with each time and the people started to die from hunger.

The people tried to beg the Sun to stop but he was too deep in his grief for any words to reach him in this state.

After their futile attempts the people tried to find the salvation in the cooling shadows but by this time Min’s sufferings consumed him so much that his Shadow didn’t provide any shelter – only fear and chills from the complete blackness around.

And the people started to lose their minds in the frightening conditions surrounding them.

No food, no water, no shelter and the human extinction began.

And this was not the end because Yun overused his powers and already couldn’t stop his flame’s madness. He was scorching every part of the earth – not sparing the hills and the mountains.

He burnt the earth to the flat surface – completely even, without a hubble – seizing only when he understood that the Shadow was gone from this world as there was no place for Min to hide in.

Yun bellowed in a terrible delirium and suffocating from guilt and agony he blew up himself destroying the earth completely.

The sky turned dark and quiet.

The stillness was wrapping every part of the endless space around.

Only one shaky sob was heard for a second.

The Shadow took the reins of the old world with the kingdom unimaginably vast but empty, with the citizens in the form of the memories.

Min watched relentlessly how the Gods were slowly disappearing as there was no one to believe in them and when the last one died he finally let himself mourn his loss.

The Shadow steadily moved from one star to another catching their last breaths of light – the little reflection of his beloved.

And as the millenniums passed and the Shadow absorbed the last star of the universe Min let the final soft smile leave him with the whisper of promise.

“Don’t worry, my love. Next time we meet – we will be Gods ourselves and nothing and no one will be able to separate us anymore”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hug me please i also suffered


	5. A drabble about dizziness/anxiety  (sort of)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a quick drabble and mostly my need to form into words what went through me several days ago. 
> 
> it's a mess but please enjoy it.

Changmin is _spinning_.

The days like this are rare but they hit you like a train in the tunnel, switching your light and robbing you of balance. You don’t know the name and direction of this train and the blow sends you into the swirl of unnamed emotions knocking you down, messing with the peace in your mind.

You will try to search for the reason but this will be in vain.

It just happens.

And you just have to let it flow through yourself and then let it go. Like the radiation that flies through every particle of your body – the more you try to hinder it, the more it will distort and hurt your insides.

Sometimes a swift self-pointed stab will help this hurricane find a quicker way out.

But for this you need several minutes of solitude and quietness.

And Changmin doesn’t have this luxury in the middle of the photosession that his company arranged for him while Yunho is away on his variety.

So he bites his cheeks and tries to count his breaths.

 

 

 

They announce a break and Changmin crushes on the chair trying to gather his wits.

He needs to go outside to take a breath of fresh air but this is impossible as the stylists are hovering over him trying to fix his locks and make up.

There are too many thoughts in his head shouting without sound.

He tries to raise the volume up to understand what is happening…

_“Changmin-shi, we are ready for the next location”_

Changmin shuts his eyes hard and opens them quickly providing an understanding smile.

 

 

 

He doesn’t speak much during the shooting.

The staff is accustomed to this but today this feels a bit different and he can see their questioning glances.

He has the power only to smile reassuringly back, with as much gentleness as he can.

He knows the moment he tries to speak he will snap, a string will tear leading to the flood of dizzy mixture from within.

The staff doesn’t have to do anything with his inner storm, they don’t deserve to feel uncomfortable just because today he can’t get a hold of himself.

So he continues to smile, nod, follow and work.

 

 

 

They go to the van and Changmin hides in the dim corner sinking in the coat’s unwarmth.

He just needs several minutes and everything will be…

_“Changmin-shi, we rebooked the flight for tomorrow – so you will have to get up early to catch it on time. We will drop you at the hotel but at first you need to go through this”_

Changmin almost breaks his teeth as his jaw tenses from the pressure of the upcoming scream.

He stretched his hand taking the papers from his manager and nods into the void.

 

 

 

Changmin drops face down on his bed while his manager goes around the room arranging his luggage.

He sees the notification light on his phone.

Only one message from Yunho about his safe flight.

They are so busy lately that they don’t have any strength for typing more. Calls are out of the picture.

Changmin types a quick _be careful. see you in three days_ and hears a soft click of his door.

Now that he is alone he finally can do this.

Just a deep breath and several minutes of…

_Knock Knock Knock_

_“Room service!”_

Changmin digs his hands into the blanket, a second from ripping all apart.

Gets up.

Opens the door stronger than necessary.

And smiles.

 

 

 

The dizziness doesn’t come away for several days.

This is much longer than any time for the past 5 years.

He senses that the moment when he can pull himself out of this maze is about to slip through his hands.

He couldn’t catch any time alone all these days and the interruptions started to send him into the fits of annoyance and baseless anger.

He just needs ten minutes of nothingness.

Just vacuum around himself to get back to normal.

Changmin settles in his chair as the plane takes another turn before landing.

He has to do this now and this will take only…

_“Changmin-shi? We were asked to pass you this information about the transfer”_

He takes the letter from the stewardess and squeezes his eyes.

He doesn’t want to shout anymore.

The raging sound is overpowered by the raindrops that form on the angles of his soul.

The maze closes shut.

 

 

 

Changmin settles on the couch in the practice room blocking the sound of the staff preparing the room for the test shooting.

He covers his eyes with his fingers, pressing slightly to make the constant moist veil to disperse.

He doesn’t know how he managed to finish the previous schedule without falling apart.

He feels as if he is suffocating from the attempts to breathe just for once.

As if he was underwater for so long and when he had the chance to resurface his lungs couldn’t take a proper inhale.

He tries and tries and tries but his body forgot how to properly do that, one gene being erased and he is suddenly at a loss with how to do the routine of living.

He relaxes again and prays that no one disturbs him now.

He has to focus again, just a little push and he will find the right rhythm and maybe then his scattered mind will leave this feeling behind and…

_“Changdollah”_

… he finally exhales.

A deep, long, free of invisible chains exhale.

Changmin stays still except his chest going up and down in rapid moves and feels the couch creaking from the newly added weight.

The weight that makes everything light around him, fights his darkness and pulls him back.

Changmin feels a hand caressing his hair, the fingertips like little armies destroying the remains of the dust in his mind.

His breathing is finally back to normal.

Changmin opens his eyes and the last days fade out as an unimportant scene of the dream during the first seconds after waking up.

He looks up and sees his reflection in Yunho’s eyes.

His missing piece fitting back.

 

Mostly it’s only you who can hold your wholeness together.

Mostly it’s only you who can find the way out.

Mostly it’s only you who knows the labyrinth of your mind.

Mostly it’s only a minute of silence you need to fix yourself.

But sometimes it’s just one word that matters.

One touch that heals.

One presence that wraps you in safety and shields you from the sneaking anxietyworms.

One person who hacks an exit through the walls that imprison you.

 

“Welcome back, hyung”

“It’s good to be home, Changminah”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are love❤


	6. A drabble about a circle (... the concert... but not really)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is sudden and random but it sounded sweet in my head.
> 
> i was seriously touched by changmin's solo staging and his sudden change of the shirts on the second day. i thought what could have been a reason and suddenly yunho dashed through my mind whispering that one statement^^
> 
> please enjoy))

After many years of performing Changmin knows that the stage costumes have a tendency to disappear.

The staff and the artists rushing from one corner to another, changing like crazy, sometimes ripping the clothes and disposing of them right after one song due to the adrenaline and constant lack of time.

 

The point is that _this_ is ordinary.

  
_And THIS is not_.

  
Changmin casts one more glance at his black shirt that went missing after his solo on the first day of the concert.

  
The stylist turned the dressing room upside down trying to find it after their encore. Poor girl. Her hair was sticking as if after being electrified, completely breaking the laws of gravity. She had to accept that the shirt was lost forever after Changmin's gentle reassurance that they would just find another one for the second day.

  
It was a very prominent sign.

  
The girl was nearly in tears and Yunho didn't reach to calm her down as usual when the staff was losing it from overstress.

  
At that time Changmin thought the older was just busy with rearranging the necessary parts with the director but it turns out that the leader was busy committing a crime.

  
Yunho stole Changmin's shirt and took it home with him.

  
Changmin doesn't know what to do with this information.

  
Moreover the slit on the back is gone - being sewn with the awkward zigzags.

  
This...  
                 ... is where Changmin's logic stops existing at all.

  
He continues to hypnotize the shirt lying carefully unfolded on the sofa into adopting a mouth and explaining everything to him when he hears the bedroom door opening and lovely-to-death footsteps announce the presence of his bandmate.

  
Yunho hums the tune of what seems to be "Beautiful Stranger" with such tenderness that for a moment Changmin forgets the nag-scrolls he prepared.

The older's voice is hushed and quiet but Changmin hears not only the lyrics he wrote but also the hidden responses to his every word transfering the message that holds Yunho's soul.

  
Changmin's heart is thrown into the erratic beats of embarrassment and love combined.

The abnormality that hasn't left him even after 15 years.

  
Yunho halts upon seeing the younger and after several shy attempts to hide what is in his hands he just lets his shining smile wrap Changmin's already too-much trembling body.

  
"Hyung, what are you doing?"

  
"Ahhh.... this?"

  
The older stretches one hand displaying the red shirt with the slit.

  
The slit that is now also sewn together - this time less awkward.

  
"I fixed it"

  
Yunho's voice is much braver now, with a little hue of an unspoken promise.

  
"Hyung, these are the stage costumes. They can be fixed by the stylists... That is IF they need to be fixed"

  
"I love your song, Changminnie"

  
Damn Yunho for always making him stumble over the easiest things, such as talking and thinking!

  
"You told me that already... 74 times I think?"

  
The red creeping on Changmin's ears proves the case number 75 getting into the final level.

  
"You staged your solo so thoughtfully, Changdollah"

  
"Your solo is much more mesmerizing, hyung! Can you please stop and..."

  
"You put your heart and soul in it and showed your struggles in such a meaningful way. I am sure the fans loved it and will find strength from it in the future"

  
Changmin is on fire, a buring fire of thousands suns.

  
"Hyung..."

  
"Your scars"

  
"What?"

  
Yunho just points to the slits on both shirts and Changmin swallows nervously.

  
"You got the meaning?"

  
"I think most of the people got it"

  
Changmin focuses on the floor trying to block the emotions rising up from within. He knows this song will never stop being special for him no matter what others think because it was his determination to express the knot of complicated strings he inherited after all these years. To hear Yunho and the fans seeing past this image leaves him alarmed but at the same time elated.

  
Changmin's vision is caught once again by the blackness on the sofa.

  
"But why did you steal these shirts, hyung? You do know the stylists almost lost their mind?"

  
Unexpectedly Yunho's eyes get more serious than before and fix on the black slit, while his knuckles whiten a bit from the grip on the red one.

  
"Because I don't want to lose my mind instead"

  
He stares into Changmin's eyes, the vows curling themselves on the iris of his own.

  
"It's my responsibility. No matter when and how I will do my best to protect you. And if there are any scars along the way - I will fix them, heal them, make them hurt less..."

  
"Hyung..."

  
"Even if they are metaphorical - I can't leave your scars open. I will stitch them together for you. Always"

  
Changmin thinks he is about to cry but no one will know if he hides himself in the crook of the older's neck.

  
He feels both of them relaxing as their grip transitions from a strong hold to a tender hug.

  
"I know, hyung... thank you and... just know I will do the same for you"

  
Changmin feels the softest smile leaving a thank you on his shoulder and shuts the world down for several more minutes just because they can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i almost died after these two hell weeks at work and this is the most what my brain could have produced so please be kind^^  
> comments are air. thank you!


	7. A dark and a bit creepy AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to move this AU to ao3 because it might be the only real drabble i will ever write with my length-problem^^ (and also i kind of like it very much considering how much it haunted me before - so i wish to keep it in this series)

They meet like in a fairytale, under the smooth ringing rain that accompanies their paths merging into one. The feeling of love spreads into every cell of their body and their friends are astonished such a couple can exist in reality.

 

Yunho radiates sunshine and still covers in pink when Changmin links their hands or hugs him in the mornings. He is the happiest - he thinks. And a little stumble he feels when he declares it to Changmin is just not worthy of attention. Because he is truly in love.

 

Changmin is the happiest. He tries to persuade himself. But every time Yunho goes out and makes friends with all people possible and smiles for everyone Changmin feels a little thud dropping numbly and wrong and acid inside. He knows Yunho loves him. But knowing doesn't mean peace.

 

Or the confirmation. Or the ease. So he seeks the ways to spend and consume as much of Yunho’s time as possible. Even if his actions taste as ash after the rainstorm. Muddy and dirty. But Yunho notices nothing and continues to fill their time with Him. And Changmin is. happy.

 

At least tries. Very very hard. But the people are reaching out for Yunho as if he is their water in the dessert and it can't be stopped and Changmin wakes up in the middle of the night and wishes to the stars that Yunho stays with him forever.

 

Changmin buys a ring with this prayer - FOREVER imprinted on the inside of the silver. And Yunho has never smiled with such warmth and halfmoons eyes before for him. And Changmin feels he is intoxicated with his love drug and spends time searching the things that will make Yunho repeat that expression. Or rather have it permanent.

 

He prays more while Yunho is sleeping. Chanting the words of "please forever mine please". He wishes to reach Yunho’s heart and secure it in his hands and cherish it and never let him go because they are one. Destined.

 

That’s why he doesn't notice how Yunho starts to lose weight. And sparkle. And joy. And light in his eyes. How he stops calling his friends because he is too weak to move. And all his strength is dedicated to those I Love Yous he stubbornly wishes Changmin to hear every day.

 

Yunho’s friends finally break into their apartment to find Changmin lying beside Yunho, holding his hand while trying to listen to his heartbeat. Which is gone.

 

And when the body is taken to the autopsy and his chest is cut open everyone is shocked to see the little handprints on it. With the word FOREVER imprinted on one of the side.

 

Changmin touches his ring and smiles.


End file.
